Of Ladd, Lua, and Lemons
by alicekinsno1
Summary: Lemons are the only food Lua will eat! A rather humorous little fic about Ladd and Lua, with lots and lots of food! I OWN NOTHING!


Of Ladd, Lua, and Lemons

_A/N: Alright, more Baccano! Fanfiction! Since I can't get the stuff I really need from the light novels in English yet, I'll be focusing a lot on the little things with these particular fanfics. This particular story is my reaction to the number (and, if I do say so myself, quality) of Ladd/Lua lemons scattered throughout the 'net, which I represented with real lemons and lots of food porn. It's also the beginning of my crusade to make Lua seem crazier than Ladd;)_

When Ladd first took Lua home, he promised her the best meal she had ever had in her life. "No more watery tomato soup for my angel!" Ladd promised excitedly. While Lua washed and dressed Ladd commissioned the finest meal the family cook could prepare, with all the best recipes his family had brought over from Sicily. He couldn't wait to see Lua's reaction. Surely after all that poor-people's food she had eaten all year she would be grateful.

As wonderful smells began to waft from the kitchen, Ladd went to fetch Lua. He found her all tidied up, wearing the white dress he had bought for her. She wore it so well, Ladd was temporarily speechless. "Lua, you… you look like a million bucks!" he said, and Lua blushed. He then threw his arms around Lua, and led her downstairs. "This will be the best dinner in the world!" he declared, "Believe me, dollface, if you've never tried Sicilian food you don't know what you're missing!" Lua did not respond. Ladd went on: "So I think cook's making _Arancine_ rice balls; those things are the best. Would you believe we have saffron? It's good to be a gangster, don't you think? No Depression for us! And _Caponata_- our cook's _Caponata_ is the only way I'll eat eggplant. You can eat a lot, can't you? We'll be having all sorts of different courses! But my favorite's dessert. Do you like dessert?"

"My mother made really good _Kuchen_," Lua said with a shrug.

"Coo… what?" said Ladd.

"Cake," Lua explained in a small voice.

The dining-room table was set with the finest china and silverware, and many members and associates of the Russo family were sitting around. "Everyone," Ladd introduced, "This is my fiancée, Lua! She's the most beautiful, perfect doll in the whole wide world, and someday I'm going to kill her slowly! So be polite!" he admonished. Lua simply stared at them, displaying neither friendliness nor embarrassment.

"Come on, Lua," said Ladd, "You've gotta try some of this food! I hope you're hungry."

In addition to the appetizers Ladd had predicted, there were pastas mixed with seafood and covered with _Pecorino_ cheese. For main dishes, the family ate swordfish and _vitello alla marsala_. They even had wine.

The trouble was, that Lua seemed completely uninterested in eating anything at all! Ladd would wave one dish after another in front of Lua's nose, and Lua would simply avert her eyes, focusing instead on the other men who happily stuffed their faces. "Oh, well," said Ladd with a shrug after presenting each dish, "If she doesn't like it… more for me, I guess."

It wasn't until the dessert course that Lua's attention perked up. Desserts consisted of _Cannoli_, _gelati_, and _sorbetti_. She eyed the lemon sorbetto (served artistically in the rind) and finally said: "May I try some?"

"Sure, Dollface!" Ladd said enthusiastically, grateful that at last he had found something she liked. He himself was happily lost in a blood-orange sorbetto and a ricotta cannoli.

But as time went on, Ladd grew disheartened to see that Lua refused to eat almost everything else.  
He had many different meals prepared, containing all his favorite foods- he even asked her for her favorite comfort foods growing up, and requested those as well. But all Lua would do was watch transfixed as he wolfed down his food. Ladd could convince her to eat just about anything, but she simply would not listen to anyone else, no matter who they were. As time went on, Ladd grew desperate: if this kept up, Lua could die of starvation, and then he wouldn't be able to kill her the way he wanted. Finally, one night at dinner, he confronted her: "Lua," he asked, "why won't you eat anything? You don't like the food my family prepares?"

"It's not that I don't like your food," Lua explained quietly, "But it's so much more fun to watch you eat. I just enjoy starving myself."

"Lua, that's just nonsense!" Ladd exploded, "If you don't eat then you're gonna die, and if you die, then I won't be able to kill you! I'm the only one who's allowed to kill you, remember? How am I supposed to tear the flesh from your bones if there's nothing for me to tear off?"

"I'm sorry," said Lua, bowing her head.

"Don't be sorry!" said Ladd, "Find something you're gonna eat!"

"Okay," said Lua, who slunk off, smiling softly and still not looking at Ladd.

She was gone for most of the afternoon. Eventually, Ladd began looking for her all over the house. "Lua!" he called, "Lua, my angel, where are you?"

At long last, he found her, sitting on some barrels in his family's cellar, nibbling on a small piece of something. "Hey, there you are!" he said excitedly, "I've been looking everywhere!" Lua looked up at him, and smiled. "So, what're you eating?" Ladd strode up to her eagerly.

Lua opened her palm, to reveal a small wedge of lemon. The flesh had been torn to shreds. Clearly, Lua had been sucking on it for quite awhile. "A lemon?" said Ladd, thinking back to the lemon sorbetto from all those nights ago.

"Yes," said Lua, "It's so sour- almost painful to eat. I really like it," she went on matter-of-factly, without any trace of emotion.

"Really?" said Ladd, "So… you like foods with lemons in them, do you?"

Lua nodded.

"Well, anything for you, Dollface!" said Ladd, beaming, "It's lucky you're marrying Ladd Russo, the Sicilian blond!" He grabbed Lua and swung her off of her perch, twirling her around several times before setting her down. "We've got so many lemons you could eat them all day!" It was not a statement of fact, but a suggestion.

That night, Ladd and Lua were eating alone. Cook had very provided a plate of blood sausages with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes, which Lua had said was one of her favorite comfort foods growing up. Before serving Lua's plate to her, Ladd hacked up several lemons and drizzled the juice all over everything. He then hacked up the skin and mixed it into anything he could stir around with a fork, just for good measure. And then it came to him- painful to eat. She wanted something painful to eat. So Ladd grabbed some red peppers and other spices from one of the jars and threw them into the mush as well. He handed Lua her plate and watched her as she stared at the resulting concoction for a few minutes before picking up a knife and fork, cutting off a piece of meat, sloshing it around in the lumpy, pasty mess and nibbling it daintily. Her face flushed pink, and she turned to Ladd. "This tastes terrible," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Lua!" Ladd groaned, throwing his hands up in the air.

But Lua merely smiled at him, and finished the piece on her fork. Then, she cut off a slightly larger piece of meat, sloshed it around some more, and shoved it into her mouth. Ladd grinned like a Cheshire cat. "We have a winner!" he shouted, throwing his hands up again, this time in delight. "If my lovely Lua wants lemons, she'll get lemons!" And he pulled Lua close to him and started smothering her face with kisses.

After Ladd was finished spilling his jubilation onto a placid Lua, he returned to his own plate, and began eating. He'd developed quite a liking for German cuisine, after all those unsuccessful attempts to convince Lua to eat it. Blood sausage was one of his new favorite foods.

The two of them had lemon sorbetto for dessert.

_A/N: Please, please, pleeeeeaaaase give me any constructive criticism you can. If anyone's acting OOC, let me know so I can fix it (especially if you've read the light novels)!_


End file.
